The 10 commandments of trumpet players?

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Hear ye, hear ye!

The 10 commandments of (bad) trumpet players doth follow!

#1 Thou shalt introduce thineself thus: “Hi, my name is ____, I’m better than you”

#2 Thou shalt play screamers in the warmup room to impress thine colleagues

#3 Thou shalt bore thy neighbour with stories of “How Maynard used to do it…” ad nauseum

#4 Thou shalt play louder than the rest of the ensemble combined

#5 Thou shalt ‘hang-over’ at the end of every chart

#6 Thou shalt inspect thy neighbour’s mouthpiece and horn without permission

#7 Thou shalt blame mistakes on sticky valves

#8 Thou shalt swap mouthpieces at least twice per chart

#9 Thou shalt practice from the lead book if hired to play a section part

#10 Thou shalt… (use the comment for below to add your own “trumpet player commandments” :) )


22 Responses to “The 10 commandments of trumpet players?”

  1. Michael Barkley says:

    …look accusingly at your colleague when you chip a note :)

  2. Rich Mills says:

    play many, many notes as an alternative to taste?

  3. Rich Mills says:

    play mistakes twice! play it like you meant it, man

  4. blowin' through says:

    play without using your tongue and crescendo on every note

  5. Bpalmer0099 says:

    cover your own tuning issues by demanding to retune and glaring at the reed player!

  6. Bpalmer0099 says:

    play all lyrical passages on flugel horn, without exception.

  7. Trombonist says:

    snort whenever a trombonist mentions a gig.

  8. First Valve says:

    …keep rubber bands in your case and put one on after clamming a note and say, “Man, I’ve got to get this water key fixed!”.

  9. Taylor says:

    Crush every other instrument if needed( especially trombone)

  10. Trumpeter8 says:

    Thou shalt blame EVERYTHING on the first chair player.
    (Particularly when you’re the only other person with their part)

  11. Trumpeter8 says:

    Thou shalt practice military wake-up calls.

  12. Trumpeter8 says:

    Thou shalt play high d’s above the staff as soon as thou art in the warm up room.
    (Seconds and thirds MAY be excused)

  13. Trumpeter8 says:

    Thou shalt not play when thine water key needeth be emptied.

  14. Trumpeter8 says:

    Take anything and everything that you can (which should be everything) up an octave.

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